English

“Oh don’t worry…everyone speaks English.”  I hear this a lot when I tell people I’m going somewhere but wish I spoke the language.  I’m not sure where this little myth got started.  I guess because most folk study English in school we start thinking everyone speaks it.  I studied Russian for four years in school and I’ll I’ve got out of it was “Da” “Niet” and a bunch of flirting with Adam Walters. 

Now, to be fair, lots of countries do speak English as second languages incredibly well.  Most of Europe speaks English better than I do and I’m embarrassed to say the average Indian knows about 100 words in English that I have never even heard of (bombastic? Sure let me look that up while you keep talking). 

But the assumption that wherever you are going you will be just fine not speaking the language is a little fallacious (a word I learned while in India).  “Everyone speaks English” is a statement of hope.  Kind of like “Everything will be fine” not necessarily true but a comforting thought never the less. 

So the folk here don’t speak English.  They live in China and they speak Chinese.  Frankly they have a right to that.  Some of them have worked really hard to get a few words/phrases of English.  I’m so incredibly grateful for that.  My Chinese is worse and I’m the guest.  

A few of them have dedicated a substantial amount of time and effort and speak English with some fluency.  But they are in the minority and not likely to be driving a taxi or helping out at the front desk of my hotel. 

So we show up like babies.  We can’t speak we can only gesture and cry.  I’m used to this and I have an iphone full of aps that translate and help.  But I’m not used to the Chinese response to me speaking English to them.  Yesterday, Sam saw a sign for Legos in an upscale department store so we went in.  I asked a sales girl “Where is Legos?” with the universal shrug/question look.  She looked scared.  Honestly scared--like I had just given her a pop quiz.  She pulled over her supervisor who also looked scared.  I smiled and pretended I found what I was looking for.  

This fear happens every time I speak English.  A taxi driver overcharged us and all I had to do to reduce him to shamefully looking at his shoes was talk very fast in English.  It’s like everyone here has heard the “Don’t worry they speak English” statement too.  They really feel bad that it isn’t true.  I wanted to put my arm around the shop girl (and the taxi driver too for that matter) and tell them that it was fine.  I don’t speak Chinese.  It’s my bad.  

But what is cool is how often we can still muddle by.  Taxis go in the right direction.  Hotels give me the extra pillows and overall we manage.  I guess a better phrase would be “Don’t worry, everyone is pretty nice and probably willing to figure out what you need”